i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize