you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
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Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
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Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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