so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
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I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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