I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
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Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
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