Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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