I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize