last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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