she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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