best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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