Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
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