Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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