every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
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He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
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Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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