we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize