We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize