can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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