i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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