His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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