her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
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The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
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Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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