I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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