i jhust puked up my retainher.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize