on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
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U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize