I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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