Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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