oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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