God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize