Sponge bath it is.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
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He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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