dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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