I want to walk on stilts...naked
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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