fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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