I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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