The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
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