Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize