jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
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I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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