One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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