you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize