found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
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She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
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Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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