I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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