and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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