Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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