lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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