We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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