You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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