Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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