i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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