so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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