She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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