i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
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