I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize