Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
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