Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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